


As You Wish

by OfTheDirewolves



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Inspired by Film, Alternate Universe - Princess Bride Fusion, F/M, Jon and Sansa Are Not Related, Jonsa Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 03:03:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15809997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfTheDirewolves/pseuds/OfTheDirewolves
Summary: A story of revenge, hardships, mayhem and mishaps but overall it’s a story about the everlasting power of true love.Jon x Sansa Princess Bride Fusion(Written for the Jonsa Exchange: Inspired by Film)





	As You Wish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [acariad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/acariad/gifts).



> I finished it.. No one is as surprised as I am trust me..
> 
> This was written for Lia/Sardoniyx on tumblr for the Jonsa Exchange. 
> 
> This might just be one of the strangest fics I've written in my time but I like it and I hope you do to...
> 
>  
> 
> (Unbeta'd for now but I wanted to get it up)

 

* * *

 

She’d gotten kidnapped, typical. Ever since that fateful day a few years ago nothing in her life had gone according to plan. Nothing had gone right. She’d had it all and then she’d lost it all in a matter of moments. 

How exactly had her life brought her to this moment? Kidnapped as she was riding her horse Lady, Lady had been one of the few reminders she had from home. Whenever she needed to think she’d go for a ride to try and clear her head. 

Her family had been well off, they weren’t the richest but they had a good standing. She’d grown up with servants and farmhands but they had always been like a part of the family. Maester Luwin, Old Nan, Mordane, Rodrik Cassel And of course there was Jon. It still hurt too much to think about Jon. 

Jon Snow was the son of an old friend of her father’s. His mother Lyanna died when he was but 12 years of age and so he had come to work for the Starks. In a way you could say they had grown up together. She’d used to spend her time ordering around and having him do chores for her. All he would say was “as you wish”. One day she realized what he meant when he said those words to her and it had changed everything. Even more when she realized she truly loved him back. Oh how she yearned to her his voice speaking those words to her one more time.

But alas he was gone. Her father and brother had not minded the relationship but her mother had much to say. Jon was poor and Catelyn had been afraid that he could not give Sansa the life she was used to. And so Jon had set off, willing to take a chance and earn enough to please her mother. A few weeks after he was gone, they heard his ship was taken by pirates. And not just any pirates but the Dread Pirate Dayne and his crew, known for never leaving survivors. That was the day she lost her Jon, and everything changed for her.

Her world had lost all color that day, it was as if she herself had died along with him. Her relationship with her mother was much changed. A few weeks afterwards as if the fates hadn’t been cruel enough, she’d lost her father and youngest brother to an illness that had taken a hold of her village. Her sister Arya and herself had thankfully not been affected but her younger brother Bran had survived at the cost of the use of his legs.

Her brother Robb had stepped up and become the man of the family but it hadn’t been easy. It had been 5 long years. Her sister Arya had left home about 2 years back and word was that she was with Gendry, the blacksmith’s apprentice. Arya had always been seen talking to Gendry and Jon as they were growing up and after the deaths of Jon and her father Arya couldn’t stay home any longer. She’d asked her to go with her but Sansa could never abandon Robb or Bran, or even her mother. 

Then the offer had come. An old friend of her mother’s had come with an offer from the royal household. She had been away at the market so she had missed his visit but she had learned all about it as she returned. The rules of the land stated that Prince Joffrey of Kings Landing could choose any unmarried young lady to be his wife, and he had chosen her. Robb had been against the idea from the start but her mother was another story.

Her old friend had promised that if Sansa agreed to be his bride, her family would be compensated. Robb had once against argued that they didn’t need it but Sansa knew better. Bran’s situation wasn’t the easiest and so they needed someone who could help take care of him. Sansa knew what she must do. Her mother had always said family above all. Robb mentioned how Sansa had always wanted to marry for love and she smiled sadly at her brother. She knew there was no love in her future, her true love had died in a pirate attack. _She would never love another._

She didn’t know what to make of Joffrey. Her interactions with the man, who at times acted like a child, had been very superficial. He was nice to her but something told her it wasn’t completely honest. Like there was something hiding behind his fake smile. So maybe getting kidnapped was a blessing in disguise. Considering her luck she could very easily end up dead. Right now she’s not sure what her best option was. Whatever it was it had to be better than the way she was currently living. 

The only times she felt truly happy nowadays was when she was riding Lady. Lady was her reminder of home, the reminder of the happier days in her life. The times she still had Jon in her life. She still remembered the first time she went riding with him.

_ Sansa couldn’t remember ever being this excited. Her father had gifted her a horse for her birthday, she was a truly glorious mare. She had finally finished with her lessons so now she could go ride her for the first time. _

_ “Farm boy!” Sansa exclaimed coming into the stables, without a moment’s notice Jon appeared, “Ready my new mare.”  _

_ “As you wish.” Jon said and went to get her horse, he came back a few minutes later with the mare saddled. _

_ “You saddled her, that’s good.” Sansa said excitedly going towards her new horse. _

_ “Does she have a name?” Jon asked before he could stop himself, he didn’t usually talked to her. She made him nervous so he didn’t usually know what to say around her. He didn’t understand what it was about her that made him feel this way. He could talk to her siblings, especially Robb and Arya, like they were friends but when it came to Sansa he’d choke.  _

_ She seemed surprised that he was actually talking to her and even more surprised at his question. _

_ “I don’t know, I don’t want to choose the wrong name. A mare as wonderful as her deserves a fitting name.” Sansa said softly.  _

_ “Well I’m sure you’ll find a good name for her my Lady.” Jon told her. _

_ “Lady… I like that, What do you think girl do you like that?” Sansa asked her horse who just neighed happily. Sansa turned to Jon, “I think that means she approves of her new name… Thank you Jon.” she said using his actual name instead of her usual term, he just smiled softly.  _

_ “I would like it if you joined this first ride just to make sure there is nothing amiss with Lady.” Sansa said even though they both knew that Lady was in perfect shape, after all her father wouldn’t have gifted her to Sansa if she wasn’t. _

_ “As you wish.” Jon said as he saddled one of the horses and rode along with her.  _

She was pulled out of her memory by the men arguing about a potential ship being behind them and yet the boss, she thinks his name is Baelish, was arguing with the other man about how only Tormund was strong enough to go up the Cliffs. The ship stopped and she was pulled from it by Baelish and the Iron Islander. 

The latter had wrapped them in a harness that connected her to Tormund’s back. Before she knew it Tormund was carrying all four of them as they went up the rope towards the top of the cliffs. Sansa made the mistake of looking up and she couldn’t believe her eyes. It was probably best to keep them closed, the height was terrifying. 

She could hear Baelish and the Islander arguing about how the Man in Black was gaining on them. Tormund retorted that he was carrying people people while the other man just had himself. Then they had made it to the top, finally. 

Baelish went to cut the rope so the Man in Black would fall but apparently he didn’t.

“He didn’t fall? Inconceivable!” Baelish exclaimed

“You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.” The Islander replied 

This was her chance to get away, her hands were still tied but she could run, and so she did. Even if she had no idea where she is going and her dress was definitely not made for running. Sadly she didn’t get very far when the giant grabbed her again.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Baelish asked 

“Away from you.” Sansa replied.

“You’ve got guts I’ll give you that but do you really think you’d make it anywhere?” Baelish wondered grabbing her face with his hand and pulling her closer. 

“Anywhere is better than here.” Sansa said spitting at him. 

“Whoever that is won’t save you, there are no heroes in this world princess remember that.” Baelish said glaring at her before turning towards the other two.

“Whoever that is signed his death warrant when he saw us with the princess, Tormund you’re going to take her make sure she doesn’t escape. We are heading towards the Stormlands catch up with us when he’s dead. If he falls fine, if not the sword. Greyjoy you better make sure he’s dead or don’t bother showing up.” 

“I’m going to duel him left-handed.” Greyjoy told his boss. 

“You know what a hurry we’re in!” Baelish exclaimed like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, Sansa wanted to laugh but held it in. 

“It would be over too quickly if I used my right.” Greyjoy retorted.

“Fine do it your way. Let’s go Tormund.” Baelish said walking off but Tormund looked back at this friend,

“Be careful, you know fuckers in masks cannot be trusted.” Tormund said, Greyjoy nodded as Tormund left to follow Baelish with his arm around Sansa. Tormund seemed to actually treat her as a person, her situation wasn’t good in the slightest but she still appreciated that.   

* * *

Theon Greyjoy wasn’t quite sure why he’d let Petyr Baelish talk him into this. The princess seemed nice and she sure was beautiful but mostly importantly she was innocent. He understood Baelish’s plan but he didn’t understand why she had to die. He wasn’t too happy about taking part in that. He turned to look at the Man in Black and while he was closer to the top now, it was still going to take him a bit to get to the top. Theon Greyjoy was not known for his patience.

“Hello down there, slow going?” Theon called out.

“Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.” The Man in Black replied. 

“Right, sorry.” Theon replied

“Thank you.” the man said and Theon went back to what he had been doing, he drew his sword, and loosened up with a few perfect thrusts. Then resheathed the sword and looked over the edge again. 

“There’s no way you could speed up?” 

“If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do.” the man told him sardonically, 

“I mean I could do that. In fact, I've got some rope up here. But I do not think that you will accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.” 

“That does put a damper on our relationship.” He said as he climbed up to another spot in the cliff. 

“What if I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top?” Theon asked impatiently.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but I don’t quite trust you so I’m afraid you will have to wait.”

“I abhor waiting, can I give you my word as a Greyjoy?” Theon asked regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, his name didn’t exactly have the best of reputations. It wasn’t as bad as say a Frey or a Bolton but it wasn’t the most trustworthy of names. The man just stared incredulously. 

“I’m guessing my word as an Iron Islander doesn’t count for much either.”

“I’ve dealt with too many of them to trust anyone from the Iron Islands.” the man replied and Theon shrugged.

“There’s nothing to get you to trust me?” Theon asked again

“Not bloody likely.” 

There was a pause and then Theon went towards the edge again, 

“I swear on the souls of my father Balon Greyjoy, my mother Alannys Harlaw and my sister Asha Greyjoy you will reach the top alive.”  Theon pledged somberly and it seemed to do the trick as the Man in Black agreed. Theon went to grab the rope once again and waited for the man to climb up to the top. 

After a few minutes he came face to face with the Man in Black himself. He let the man rest for a bit after all he’d just climbed the cliffs by himself, it was tiring to say the least. The man sat down and took off his boots as rocks fell out of them. And then Theon saw the cloves, black cloves like the ones that haunted his nightmare and so he had to ask.

“I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?” 

“Do you always begin conversations this way?” The man asked with a smirk 

“When I was but a child there was an attack at my home. My father had recently been given the command of the islands and with it came the Greyjoy ancestral sword.” Theon said showing his beloved sword to the Man in Black. The Man in Black stared at it in awe. 

“I’ve never seen anything like it.” The man said admiring Greyjoy’s sword and considering he himself carried a valyrian steel sword, was saying something.

“My older brothers had been killed in battle and so there was only my father, my mother, my sister and myself. In the middle of the night someone broke into our home and demanded the sword. My mother begged the two us to hide as she could not loose more children and so we did.” Theon said sitting down on one of the rocks as he got ready to tell the hardest part of his tale, “My father had hidden the sword well and when they couldn’t find it they threatened my mother. In his selfishness he did not speak out for her. I saw from our hiding place how the man cut my mother’s neck open and so my sister ran out of hiding and they got to her too. My father still did not budge and so he was slaughtered from behind. I loved my mother and sister and tried to avenge them.”

“I’m guessing that didn’t go well?” 

“So to speak, I was easily defeated but the man left me with these scars.” Theon said pointing at the scars on his face. “So I would always remember what happened that night. I was knocked out and when I came to my house had been ransacked and yet they did not find the sword. I vowed to get revenge. The man’s face had been covered but I remember he wore black gloves and had six fingers on his right hand. That is the only description I have of him.”  

“How old were you?”

“I was 8 and my sister was 11 at the time. When I had recovered I dedicated my life to studying fencing. The next time I meet the six-fingered man I will not cower, I’ll go up to him and say Hello my name is Theon Greyjoy, you killed my family, prepare to die.” 

“You’ve dedicated your life to this?”

“As of now it hasn’t exactly been working out. It’s been 20 years and I haven’t gotten anywhere in my search, it’s been a bit of a letdown. I do odd jobs here and there, like this Baelish deal, to pay my wages. There’s not a lot of money in revenge.” 

“Well I hope it works out for you.” the man said handing him back his sword and getting up.

“So you’re all rested?” 

“For the most part, but you’ve been more than fair.”

“You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.” Theon said honestly as the man unsheated his sword.”  

“You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.” The man retorted, and so the battle began.

They are equals in the field, they’re both experts. Each time one makes even the tiniest feint, the other counters, there’s a feint here and a feint there. The swords cross and they banter as they battle it out. Talking about the different schools of fencing and trying to account for the terrain. They are both highly dramatic individuals so they’re doing somersaults and other types of jumps that are unnecessary. But it’s flashy and dramatic which can be used to describe both Theon and the Man in Black. 

The Man in Black edges more and more into beating Theon but the latter is delighted. it’s been a very long time since he’s had to actually work at it to win.

“You’re truly wonderful.” Theon says

“Thank you, I’ve trained to become so.”

“You might even be better than I am.” Theon complimented

“Then why are you smiling?” the man asked confused

“I know something you don’t, I am not left-handed.” Theon remarked and with that he threw the Greyjoy sword and caught it with his right hand. For one of the first times in this battle, he had the advantage. He pushes the Man in Black, who for the first time looks nervous, up the stairs into the edge of the cliff. Rocks fall to the ground as the Man in Black tries to defend himself.

“You’re a stellar opponent.” 

“I’ve had 20 years of practice.” 

“You should be very proud, but you see there is something I have to tell you as well.” The Man in Black said with a smile. 

“What is it?” Theon asked

“I am not left-handed either.” 

With that the battle is once again in equal footing, Theon is surprised at the change of events and loses the upper hand causing the Man in Black to regain control. The Greyjoy sword flies out of his hand and so Theon dives from the stairs to a moss-covered bar suspended over the archway and swings. He lands on the ground and runs toward his sword. 

 

The Man in Black casually tosses his sword and then improves on Theon’s own swing landing with a perfect backflip. Theon stares in awe and confusion, who is this mysterious man?

“Who the fuck are you?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

“I must know.”

“Life is full of disappointments.” The Man in Black stated earning a shrug from Theon as the battle started once more. 

They are both as fast as lightning, blocking everything and moving from side to side. Theon gives it everything he’s got, everything he has learned over the past 20 years, every move, every stye, it’s all for nothing. He’s tired and he’s got nothing more to give. Theon knows in his heart that for the first time since he became a master swordsman, he’s going to loose. And then he does.

“Kill me quickly.”

“I would never destroy an artist such as yourself, I hold you in the highest regard. But I can’t have you following me and so this is how it shall be.” 

and those are the final words Theon Greyjoy hears before he is knocked out and everything goes black. 

* * *

 

The man known as Greyjoy had apparently been defeated and so Baelish had given Tormund the task of killing the mysterious Man in Black. For the first time since she had gotten kidnapped Sansa felt a bit of hope flare up inside of her, maybe she _would_ survive this. Baelish seemed to get more frazzled as time went on and his plans seemed to go up in flames. It brought a smile to Sansa’s face to see him fail.

“What are you smiling about?”

“You’re about to lose.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that, no one has beaten Tormund yet.” Baelish retorted

“And I bet before a few minutes ago you thought no one could beat your swordsman.” Sansa pointed out.

“A mistake I will rectify, he was a drunken fool either way.”

“You’re going to get caught.”

“Even if by some miracle I do get caught you really think you’re surviving that long?” Baelish said with a smirk as they walked forward.

“You’re not as smart as you think you are, your arrogance will be your downfall.” Sansa retorted. 

“And you think the Man in Black is better than me? It’s quite likely that he’s a pirate and you know what pirates do to their prisoners?” Baelish said cherishing the fact that he clearly struck a nerve. Even if he mistook the reason behind the glare. 

Sansa knew there was no way this man new about her Jon and what had happened to him but the reminder still stung. Suddenly they stop walking and Baelish stopped pushing her around. 

“Well if you think your great hero is going to save you let’s put him to the test shall we?” Baelish said and his smirk sent terror through Sansa’s body. He put his satchel on the ground and pulled out a white table cloth placing it over the large rock. Then he pulled out two goblets and a few apples.

“Now be a good girl and sit down, or I’ll make you sit down.” He said putting a knife at her throat and so she was forced her to sit down next to him. The next thing she knew was that he was blindfolding her and that terrified her even more. She did not trust that he could keep his hands to himself, she’d seen the way he had looked at her. She didn’t know if the mysterious Man in Black would be her doom or her savior but he had to be better than Baelish.   
  


* * *

 

Jon couldn’t believe he had actually bested the giant. Thankfully the man was not dead, he’d seemed like a good person and despite everything Jon tried not to hurt good people. Being the Dread Pirate Dayne meant his hands were a lot bloodier than when he was just simply Jon Snow, the farmhand for the Starks. But that didn’t mean he didn’t still remember the lessons his mother and Eddard Stark had imparted on him. 

A lot had happened since then, and his world had completely shifted in five years but he liked to believe he still retained his core values. Even if his worldview was a lot more grey than it used to be. Beating Greyjoy had been a challenge, he had truly been his most formidable opponent to date. Now he had beaten both men and he would be facing off against the third one. This one he felt no qualms about killing.

And then he saw her, Sansa, _his Sansa_. She was still a vision as she ever was. As angry and hurt as he was about the fact that she hadn’t waited for him, he couldn’t let anything happen to her. He couldn’t let a man such as Baelish hurt her. Seeing that bastard hold a knife against her throat made Jon want to forego his plan and just attack him. He couldn’t though, he needed to be coy about everything, Baelish could not find out how important Sansa was to him, it would put her in even more danger. 

“So it would seem we are the last two standing.” Baelish said as Jon tried to get closer to the assembled picnic spread, “if you come any closer I will plunge this knife into her throat.”

“Let me explain.”

“You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen, I know she’s a delightful creature but I’m afraid you’re much too late.”

“Perhaps we can come to terms?” Jon said slowing stepping closer and closer as he saw Baelish grab her arm and pull the knife closer to her neck.

“We cannot come to terms and as I said, you’re killing her.” Baelish said as Sansa let out a small gasp making Jon stop completely.

The man was clearly on edge, he probably hadn’t expected anyone to follow him, and he definitely had not expected that anyone could defeat his swordsman and his giant. Jon was going to have to play this another way, get him to bring down his guard, feed into his ego so to speak. Baelish kept comparing himself to the greatest minds their world had known and that’s when Jon knew exactly how to beat him at his own game. 

He challenged him to a battle of wits to the death. It would be impossible for a man like Baelish to resist the challenge, and he hadn’t. The moment he put the knife away Jon knew he had already won. Baelish poured the wine as Jon came to sit at their makeshift picnic. Seeing Sansa so close and not being able to reach out to her after dreaming of her for five years was terrible. Even now he yearned for her touch, for her kiss, for her love. Jon pulled out a small tube and passed it to Baelish. 

“Inhale this, but do not touch.” Jon stated

“I don’t smell anything.” Baelish responded as Jon took back the tube.

“What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man.”  

“Intriguing.” 

“Very.” Jon replied as he took the goblets and turned his back on Sansa and Baelish. When he turned back the tube was empty. Jon rotated the goblets in a little shell game maneuver before putting one glass in front of Baelish and the other in front of himself. 

“So now we begin. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.” Jon replied staring down at Baelish.

Baelish started talking in circles trying to prove how smart he was and Jon was growing tired of it. As Baelish kept talking Jon was getting nervous and hoping beyond hope that his gamble was paying off. He couldn’t afford to lose, not now when Sansa was so close. He called Baelish out on his stalling tactics that set off the man into yet another rant. He was trying to get Jon to reveal something but it would not work. 

Then he used the old trick of making Jon turn around while he switched the glasses. And so he made his choice. Jon was going to enjoy this immensely he thought as he drank from his glass. He relished telling Baelish he had been wrong and in the middle of the man’s gloating he fell dead. 

He walked over to Baelish and made sure the man was truly dead _, he was,_ before heading towards Sansa. He took the blindfold off her eyes and for the first time in five years he was looking into his beloved’s eyes. How he had missed those blue eyes that always seemed to give away what Sansa was feeling. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever until he broke the spell.  

“Who are you?” Sansa asked as Jon moved on to untie her hands and feet. She looked next to her and saw Baelish lying dead, good. She didn’t usually take joy in a man’s death but in this case she’d make an exception.

“All you need to know is that I am not one to be messed with.” 

“Apparently so if you were willing to poison your own cup.” Sansa pointed out

“They were both poisoned, I spent a few years in Dorne building up an immunity to Iocane powder.” He said pulling her to her feet. He grabbed her hand, ignoring the jolt he got from the action and pulled her with him. He knew they had to get away or else they wouldn’t be safe.

* * *

 

Sansa was tired, it seemed like they had been running for hours even if she knew it could have only been a few minutes. They stopped and he told her to catch her breath. She didn’t know what to make of this man. Baelish’s previous comment about him being a pirate rang in her head and she knew it was more than likely the correct assessment. 

“Release me!” Sansa exclaimed, “whatever you want for ransom you shall have it, I promise you.” 

“You think I believe the word of a woman like yourself?” Jon replied

“That was your last chance, No matter where we go ... there's no greater hunter than Prince Joffrey. He could track a falcon on a cloudy day. He will find you.” Sansa said, it was the only thing she knew Joffrey actually liked to do. The first day they met he had talked at length about his latest hunt. 

“You think your dearest love will save you?” Jon asked sardonically trying to conceal the pain. 

“Do not put words in my mouth, I never said he was my dearest love but back to the matter at hand yes I believe he will save me.” Sansa replied

“So you admit you’re marrying a man you do not love?” Jon said walking towards her until he was right in-front of her.

“He knows that and accepts it.” 

“Perhaps you’re not capable of love.” Jon muttered his feelings getting the better of him.  

“I have loved more deeply than a murderer like yourself could possibly imagine.” Sansa said getting up and standing face to face with him. 

“I would choose your words carefully  _ highness _ , where I come from there are penalties when a woman lies.” Jon said putting an emphasis on the word highness before grabbing her hand and running again not waiting to see what her response would be. 

* * *

 

Joffrey and his men were close on the couple’s trail. So far they had passed through the place where the duel happened, to where the giant was defeated. Now they were at the makeshift picnic table. Baelish was dead on the ground and Joffrey held back a sneer. The man had promised him results and now he lay dead. 

His plan to murder his fiancé and blame the Stormlands had hit quite the predicament. Who had taken the Stark girl now? There were two sets of footprints so he knew she hadn’t run off on her own. Then he saw it, a small tube, he grabbed it and realized it had no smell. 

“Iocane, I’d bet my life on it.” Joffrey said handing off the tube to Euron Greyjoy his 2nd in command.

“I’m going to guess we’re dealing with someone else considering I doubt that man died from his own poison.” Euron said

“Alas that seems to be the case, unless he was dumb enough to fall for his own tricks.”

“Maybe so.” Euron agreed.

“The princess’ footprints are still fresh which means she’s still alive or well she was an hour ago. I shall be very angry if the opposite is true when we find her, and the Stormlands will know what pain is.” Joffrey said getting back on his horse and heading off in the direction of the footprints   
  


* * *

They were resting again, at the edge of an almost sheer ravine with a drop that sharp and severe. Sansa couldn’t help but realize the way he acted whenever he called her “highness” it’s like he truly abhorred the word. It was then that it hit her, this was the man that murdered her Jon.

“I know who you are, you’re the Dread Pirate Dayne.” Sansa exclaimed and Jon did a little bow, slightly proud that she had figured at least that part out. She’d always been brilliant. 

“And proud of it.” Jon said cheerfully, “What can I do for you this fine day?” 

“You should choke on your words with the venom of the Stranger. I swear if we were back home I’d set our wolves on you.” 

“Wolves huh?” 

“My family has them for protection, they would follow my commands.” Sansa said looking him straight in the eye and in that moment all Jon wanted to do was kiss her. She thought he was just a fearsome pirate and she was still threatening his life, it’s moments like this that made him forget why he’d been so furious with her. But he couldn’t cave, he was the Dread Pirate Dayne not a lovesick teenager.     

“What could I possibly have done for you to lose your venom on me in such a way?”

“You killed my love.” 

“I’ve killed a lot of people in my time, you’d have to be more specific.” Jon started, walking behind her so she wouldn’t see the expression on his face, “Who was this love of yours? Another Prince, like this one, ugly, rich, and scabby?”

“No. A farm boy. Poor. Poor and perfect, with eyes like the sea after a storm.” Sansa said softly and then remembered who she was talking to, she couldn’t afford to show any vulnerability to this man, “You attacked the vessel he was on and the Dread Pirate Dayne never takes any prisoners.”

“Well one can’t afford to get soft, once word leaks that a pirate has gotten soft his reputation goes down the drain and I quite like my reputation.” He said mockingly 

“You mock my pain!” Sansa exclaimed 

“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” Jon retorted then he got up and pretended to think for a bit, “I  remember this farm boy of yours, I think. This would be, what, five years ago? Does it bother you to hear?” 

“As if you could upset me more than I already am.”

“He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, "Please. Please, I need to live." It was the "please" that caught my memory. I asked him what was so important for him. "True love," he replied.” Jon said as Sansa turned to look at him and they stared at each other until Jon could no longer handle it. He couldn’t give in to her now, “And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are.” Jon said finally letting out a bit of the hurt and the anger he had at the situation they found themselves in. 

“And what do you think I am?”

“He kept mentioning your enduring faithfulness and you were here getting engaged to some bloody ponce. Be honest with me after you found out what happened did you get engaged to your prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?” 

“This is the last time you’ll mock me, you have no idea what I went through! I died that day!” Sansa exclaimed as the sound of horses galloping caught Jon’s attention and so he turned his back on Sansa. Enough for her to push him down the ravine.

“You can die too for all I care.”

“As you wish.” Jon shouted as he fell down the ravine, and it was in that moment that Sansa knew why he’d felt so familiar, it was Jon, her beloved Jon. And so she did the only thing she could think off, she threw herself down the ravine as well. 

Both of them landed on the ground, slightly injured but mostly okay. The fall had made Jon’s mask fall and so when he reached her Sansa was staring into the face of the man she loved once again. She had dreamed of this moment for many nights but never thought it would be possible. 

“Sansa are you alright?” 

“Am I alright? You’re alive and here with me it’s like a dream and I never want to wake up.” Sansa said as he hugged her tightly as they both lay on the ground. 

“I told you I would always come for you, why didn’t you wait for me?” Jon asked, the question had been on his lips since he had first heard the news.

“You were dead.” Sansa pointed out.

“Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while.” Jon told her.

“Do you still?” Sansa asked softly

“I always have and I always will.” Jon admitted finally giving in and letting go of the anger and resentment, “Do you?”

  
“I’ve loved you for five years that hasn’t changed.”

“Then why the engagement and to a prince no less?” Jon wondered

“Things got worse after we heard the news of your passing, the village was hit with a sickness, father, he did not survive it and neither did Rickon.”

“Sansa I’m so sorry, your father was a wonderful man.”

“Bran got sick too as did mother, they recovered but Bran lost the use of his legs. Robb became man of the house and Arya left, the memories were too much for her. She asked me to go with her you know? But I couldn’t leave Robb or Bran.”

“What about your mother.” Jon asked noticing that she hadn’t mentioned her mother in that last bit.

“It’s complicated.” Sansa said sitting up.

“How so?” 

“I blamed her for the fact that you felt you had to leave, and I think Arya did too to an extent. Ironically it’s what brought Arya and I closer. Then the illness came and I couldn’t even mourn my father properly because I was so busy being the lady of the house and making sure everyone was okay. I know that wasn’t her fault she didn’t choose to get sick. But there’s a terrible part of me that still holds a bit of blame towards her and I am aware it’s awful.”

“My love, you could never be awful.” Jon pointed out.

“After she got better she was in mourning for quite a while. She dedicated herself to finding a caretaker for Bran and putting my father’s affairs in order. Something broke in those months and neither of us were able to fix it so we just soldiered on.”

“Your mother didn’t make me leave.” Jon told her, he remembered how close she used to be with her mother, the last thing he wanted was to be the cause of the rift between them.

“She treated you terribly, made you think that I needed fancy things to be happy.”

“I was the one that wanted to give you a better life Sansa, you always deserved the best in life and I wanted to give that to you.”

“I didn’t need anything except you Jon. All I ever wanted was to be your wife.” 

“I wanted to do right by you.” Jon stated once again giving her a kiss on the top of her head.  

“And I just wanted you by my side.” Sansa replied softly as she cuddled into his arms.

“How does your relationship with your mother fit with you saying yes to Joffrey? Although I bet she was probably delighted at the idea of you as a princess rather than married to a farm-boy.” Jon remarked, it had been his idea to leave and better himself for Sansa but he knew that he’d never be enough to the likes of Catelyn Stark. 

“Like I had previously mentioned our finances had taken a hit and so while we were still doing okay, we were struggling. An old friend of my mother’s came to visit with an offer, the prince had heard of me and wanted to marry me. If I did, my family would be compensated. I was working in the market when the man came but Robb and mother told me the story. Robb was against it from the start but I chose to go through with it. It was my way to help my family.” Sansa explained and suddenly everything made sense to Jon.

“I am deeply sorry I ever doubted you.” Jon said kneeling in front of her.

“There’s nothing to forgive, you’re here now and that is all that matters.” Sansa said truthfully and in that moment Jon closed the gap between them. In the kissed they poured out all of their emotions, everything they hadn’t been able to say out-loud, everything they felt during the last five years. The kiss seemed to go on forever as sat there on the forest floor kissing until they finally came up for air. 

“We should get out of here before your fiancé appears.” Jon said helping her to her feet.

“Where will we go?” Sansa asked softly

“Right now it seems the fire swamp is our only option.”

“We’ll never survive.”

“Nonsense -- you're only saying that because no one ever has.” He retorted as they raced towards the entrance to the fire swamp.   
  


* * *

 

The Fire Swamp was as terrifying as all the stories all Old Nan just to tell about it. Despite Jon’s insane comments about the trees, they actually were quite creepy. She wasn’t actually sure if everything inside the Fire Swamp had sentient life but she didn’t want to find out. Her dress had caught on fire once already, Jon had put it out but it had still been terrifying.

Jon didn’t seem to be half as fazed as she was. She had told him the story of what her life had been like for the past five years and now he was returning the favor. She admitted to being curious as to how he could be Dayne when she knew the Dread Pirate Dayne had been active for 20 years and Jon had only left five years ago. Not to mention he was definitely not the age to have always been the Dread Pirate Dayne. 

“You see, what I told you before about saying "please" was true. It intrigued Dayne, as did my descriptions of your beauty.” He said smirking at her, as he took his sword and created a path for them to follow by cutting away the vines.

“Finally, Dayne decided something. He said, "All right, Jon, I've never had a valet. You can try it for tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Three years he said that. "Good night, Jon. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." It was a fine time for me. I was learning to fence, to fight, anything anyone would teach me. And Dayne and I eventually became friends. And then it happened.”

“Well don’t leave a girl waiting.” Sansa said intrigued by his story. 

“Well, Dayne had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. So he took me to his cabin and told me his secret.  _ "I am not the Dread Pirate Dayne," _ he said. _ "My name is Mance. I inherited this ship from the previous Dread Pirate Dayne, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Dayne, either. His name was Barristan. The real Dayne has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Dorne.” _ Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear. You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Snow.” 

“I did not see that coming.” Sansa replied 

“Neither did I, so we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew and he stayed aboard for awhile as first mate, all the time calling me Dayne. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I have been Dayne ever since. Except, now that we're together, I shall retire and hand the name over to someone else. Is everything clear to you?”

“Crystal.” Sansa said before taking a step somewhere she shouldn’t have stepped.

Sansa had fallen into lightning sand and Jon knew he didn’t have time to lose. So he cut a vine still connected to a tree and dived into the sand. A few minutes later they both emerged. Sansa was once again terrified. She and Jon were reunited but she didn’t know if they would make it out of the Fire Swamp. 

She told Jon her worries and he tried to soothe her but it was cut short as he got attacked by an ROUS (Rodents of Unusual Size). All she could was watch as the man she loved battled the creature. The creature bit Jon’s arm but in the end Jon was victorious and finished it off by stabbing it with Longclaw multiple times.

And so they were out of the Fire Swamp and almost at his ship, Dawn. They could see the beach from where they standing. Yet it wouldn’t be that easy, because nothing ever was, was it? Before she knew it they were surrounded by Joffrey and his men. Men with crossbows were hiding in the trees and she could hear Jon and Joffrey arguing.  

She knew Jon was willing to fight them all but he was wounded from the Fire Swamp, not to mention the fights with Tormund and Greyjoy. All she could picture was her love dead in her arms, for good this time. And so she did something she hoped she didn’t regret. 

 

“Will you swear to me that you will not hurt him?” Sansa exclaimed surprising everyone, but especially Jon. 

“Excuse me?” Joffrey asked, not quite believing this turn of events. 

“What are you doing Sansa?” Jon asked 

“If we surrender and I come back to you, will you promise not to hurt him?”

“I give you my word.” Joffrey said

“He is a sailor on the pirate ship Dawn, you must return him to his ship.” 

“I swear it will be done.” Joffrey told Sansa then when she turned around he looked at Euron, “Once we're out of sight, take him back to Kings Landing and throw him in the Pit of Despair.”

“With pleasure.” 

“Sansa.” Jon pleaded

“I lost you once before and it almost destroyed me, I couldn’t handle it if I lost you again, not when I could save you.” Sansa said and before he could respond Joffrey picked her up and they rode away. 

Jon knew the moment the guards approached him that he would not be going back to his ship. He told as such to the man in charge. The man in charge had an eyepatch and a very peculiar black glove on his right man. So this was the famous six-fingered man?

“What are you staring at lad?” Euron asked 

“You have six fingers on your right hand -- someone was looking for you.” Jon remarked right before Euron knocked him unconscious. 

* * *

 

It had been weeks since the Fire Swamp and her wedding with Joffrey would be in 10 days. Sansa kept having the same recurring nightmare. The king died, she married Joffrey and then she’d meet her subjects as their queen. Everything would be okay until an old woman would start booing her. She kept reminding her that her true love had saved her in the Fire Swamp and how he was still alive. How could she marry another man when her true love still lived? She’d then start calling her the queen of garbage and using many colorful words until Sansa would wake up in her bed.Not even riding Lady would calm her nerves. So she knew what she had to do, she had to stop this farce at once. 

 

She stormed into his chambers not even caring that he and Euron were in the middle of something. 

“I love Jon, I always have and I know now I always will.” Sansa explained then headed towards his desk, “If you make me marry you in ten days time I will be dead by the eleventh day.” Sansa threatened, not realizing that was exactly what Joffrey had planned all along. She was supposed to have died after their engagement party and yet she still lived.

“I would never want to cause you pain, the wedding officially cancelled.” Joffrey remarked then walked towards Euron, “You returned Jon to his ship right?” 

“As you instructed.” Euron answered.

“But are you sure he is still interested? Pirates aren’t known for keeping to their words and it was you that left him this time.” Joffrey said ratherly innocently, or with pretend innocent. He cherished the hurt behind her eyes.

“Jon will always return for me.” Sansa said, having full faith in her words. 

“You write four copies of a letter. I'll send my four fastest ships. One in each direction. The Dread Pirate Dayne is always close to Kings Landing this time of year. We'll run up the white flag and deliver your message. If Jon still wants you, you have my blessing.” Joffrey said and then came closer to where Sansa was standing, “If he does not care please consider marrying me rather than committing suicide?” 

Sansa nodded and then walked out the door pleased with what she’d accomplished, not realizing she’d just made the trap worse for herself. 

 

Euron smirked at Joffrey as she walked away. If she had come a minute later she would have heard them talking about her beloved pirate and his current state. Joffrey motioned for him to be quite until they were back outside the castle. 

“She’s definitely quite something.” Euron stated. 

“I admit when mother and Baelish suggested her I did not see the appeal but now I do. The people might not care for me but they definitely care for her. When I hired Baelish to kill her on our engagement day I thought my plan had no equal.”

“It was a stellar plan, even if it was foiled at the end.”

“Baelish was an advisor I did not expect to lose, but oh well, it will feel so good to watch the light leave her eyes when I strangle her on our wedding night.”

“You are positively gleeful at the chance.”

“Once the Stormlands are blamed they will demand we go to war? It’s all coming according to plan.” Joffrey stated as Euron finally found the secret knot in the tree that opened the hidden door. 

“Are you coming down into the Pit? Jon’s got his strength back. I am starting him on The Machine tonight.” Euron said with that psychotic glint in his eye. He had been waiting for this moment. 

“Euron, you know how much I love watching you work. But, I've got my country's five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and the Stormlands to frame for it. I'm swamped.” Joffrey said looking disappointed as he said it. 

“Get some rest -- if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.” Euron reminded him as they parted ways.

* * *

When the day of the wedding arrived and the Brute Squad was clearing the thieves forest per Joffrey’s orders. Everyone was out except for one very important person. There was an swordsman from the Iron Island giving people trouble, they could not seem to capture him.

He had mead in one hand and his sword in the other. He was drunk as a skunk but apparently that meant nothing as his sword work was still quite good. The man tried to get him to budge but all the swordsman said was that he was waiting for Baelish. This was where he had met Baelish and so this is where he would stay for now.

The brute called for help and none other than Tormund appeared. Tormund was delighted to see Theon again and knocked out the person from the brute squad. Then he focused on nursing his friend back to health the only way he knew how. While he tried to revive his friend he told Theon of Baelish’s death and what he had found out about Euron Greyjoy, the six-fingered man. Who apparently was Theon’s uncle. 

Maybe it was a testament to his inebriated because as soon as he heard the news Theon fainted. Tormund did what he knew best and submerged his friend’s head into freezing water and then into hot water and sure enough it did the trick. 

“Euron that bastard, I should have known, he was always jealous of my father.” 

“He’s Prince Joffrey’s second in command but the castle gate is guarded by 30 men.”

“How many can you take?” 

“Around 10 or so I think.” Tormund said

“Which means I’d have to fight 20 and there’s no way I could fight 20 at once. This is what Baelish was good for, the man was an odious prick but he sure could make a good plan.”

“He’s dead.”

“I’m aware of that Tormund.” Theon said and then it hit him, the Man in Black. 

“You have that look in your face.” Tormund mentioned

“The man in Black is who we need. It makes perfect sense, he bested you with strength. He bested me with steel. He must have beaten Baelish at his own game and a man who can do that can plan my castle's onslaught any day.” Theon said joyfully.

“We don’t even know where to find him.” Tormund said following after his friend.

“My family will finally get the justice they deserve I don’t care about semantics.” Theon said as he ran out the door.

* * *

 

Sansa walked into Joffrey’s chambers in the middle of his briefing with his head of security. Joffrey made a big deal about how his armada was going to take them to their honeymoon. And there it was, her opportunity to catch him in lie. She’d suspected he hadn’t sent the letters but this was confirmation. Nevertheless she would never doubt her Jon again, she knew he would come for her. Joffrey just laughed in her face revealing his true nature.

“You truly are a silly girl.”

“It’s better to be a silly girl as you so call it than be a coward like yourself.” Sansa called out.

“Don’t try my patience.” 

“I’m not afraid of you. Jon and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that. Not with a thousand bloodhounds. And you cannot break it. Not with a thousand swords. And when I say you are a coward, that is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the earth. You’re not even half a man, you need your mother or your grandfather to do the actual work for you. Mostly because you lack the brainpower to do it.”

“Don’t you dare speak about me in that way you insolent girl.” He said grabbing her by her hair and pushing her into her room, locking the door behind him. She was not going to make it out of there until the wedding. He promised death to any servant that tried to come to her aid. 

Then as impulsive as ever he ran into the Pit of Despair where Euron was torturing Jon, or rather writing down the effects of the torture on his notebook. Euron and Qyburn stare as Joffrey goes to where Jon is laying down connected to the machine.    
  


“You truly love each other, and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.” Joffrey said with a truly evil glint in his eye. She wanted to attack him right? Well he would take away that which was most precious to her, the life of her beloved. With that he pulled the level and put it on the highest level.

“Not to fucking fifty!” Euron screamed as all three of them stared at what the machine did to Jon when it was turned up to 50. He let out a scream louder than any Euron had ever heard. A scream heard across Kings Landing. Sansa felt a pang in her heart when she heard the scream but did not know the cause behind it. Theon and Tormund were walking when they heard the sound.

 

It was a sound Theon knew quite well. 

 

“Tormund did you hear that?”

“I think everyone heard that.”

“That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Euron murdered my mother and sister and I held their bodies in my hands. The Man in Black makes it now.”

“Are you sure it’s him?”

“His true love is marrying another tonight, so who else has cause for Ultimate Suffering?” Theon pointed out and Tormund saw the logic in that. They kept having problems getting to the source of the sound as people were standing in their way. Then Tormund screamed and the roads cleared. They had to get to the sound before it faded and they lost their chance at finding the Man in Black.

They came across Qyburn with a wheelbarrow but when it came time to question him, Tormund hit him a bit too hard and he was knocked out. So Theon turned to the powers that be. He calls upon the spirit of his mother and sister, he calls upon the old gods and the new, calls for the drowned god and the Greyjoys of the past. His two older brothers who died in battle. He asked all of them to guide his sword and then they do.

Theon misinterprets it and leans against the secret knot said that he has been forsaken and then the door opens. They run down but it’s too late, the Man in Black is dead on the slab before them.

“What do we do know?” Tormund wondered as Theon came up with an idea.

“Do you have any money?” 

“Not much.”

“Well then let’s hope it’s enough for a miracle, bring the body.” Theon said as he went back up the stairs, Tormund followed behind him carrying Jon’s body in his arms. 

* * *

Something was wrong she knew it in her gut. It was the same feeling she had gotten in the pit of the stomach the day she found out about Jon’s ship. Sure as it turned out that one wasn’t cause for worry but she’d learned by now to trust her gut. Her gut was telling her something was terribly wrong. 

She’d tried to break down the door to no avail. It was to strong for her and after Joffrey’s declaration everyone was too afraid to help her. She had always known there was something off in his smile, she should have seen it sooner. She was going to be trapped here until the wedding, a wedding she wanted no part of. 

It was strange that her family wouldn’t be at her wedding. Her mother she understood because Bran couldn’t make the journey but Robb? Had he even been invited to attend. That’s when the cold realization hit her. He hadn’t invited any of her people because they would have defended her, they would have gotten in the way. Baelish had talked at length about starting a war what if Joffrey had been the one behind that. It made sense he didn’t like getting his hands dirty. 

Joffrey wanted to kill her, and then blame her death on someone to start a war. He’d get support because the people cared about her. Not to mention when her family found out they would probably join in, especially Robb. She ran towards her desk and the closest she found to a weapon was a small knife. She might not know how to fight but damn them if they thought she’d go down without a fight.   
  


* * *

 

Tormund and Theon reached a small hut in the woods and knocked on the door. He was ignored, and so he knocked on the door again.

“What do you want?” A tall man asked through a small window in the door. 

“Is this the home of Miracle Mel? The priestess that worked for the king?” Theon wondered. 

“She’s retired and we’re closed!” The man stated and closed the window again, leading Theon to knock again. After a few minutes of back and forth they were brought inside. Theon had pointed out that Jon was already dead so there was little they could do to make it worse. 

Tormund carries him inside and the man knocks on a door inside the hut. A woman with flaming red hair comes out. She takes a few looks at Jon lying dead on the table.

“I’ve seen worse.” Mel stated as she started checking pulse points and different spots on his body. 

“Madame I don’t mean to hurry things up but we are in a terrible rush.” Theon pointed out

“You know what happens when you rush a miracle worker? Rotten miracles.” the tall man told them, “do either of you have money?”

“Sixty-five.” Tormund told him

“She’s never worked for so little you’re not trying to con us are you?”

 

Theon tries to spin a story about a sick family but it’s clear they don’t believe him. Then he tells them the truth and they believe that even less. 

“He probably owes them money.” the man told Mel. 

“We could just ask him, Stannis hand me the bellows.” Melisandre told the tall man, who handed her a huge bellows.

“The dead can’t talk, can they?” Tormund asked 

“It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.” Mel explained as Stannis opened Jon’s mouth and Mel started to pump the bellows, “Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead...well, with all dead, there's usually only one thing that you can do.”

“Which is?” Theon asked

“Go through their clothes for loose change.” She said with a smirk, then she turned back to Jon, “Hello young man, what you got here that's worth living for?” 

“True loveeee.” Jon’s body said.

“True love! That is the most noble cause of all.” Theon pointed out as Stannis started arguing that he hadn’t said true love but rather to bluff. Melisandre was just staring pensively at Jon’s body. That’s when another man came in from inside the door. 

“Stop lying to the lads Stannis, he said true love! You both know he said true love.” 

“Davos not now.” Stannis retorted.

“Ever since prince Joffrey fired Melisandre they have both been a little on edge, neither one is as confident as they used to be you know.”

“Don’t say the name of that bastard brat.” Stannis exclaimed.

“That poor boy’s life is expiring and neither of you will have the decency to even attempt to help?” Davos said fighting back.

“This is Sansa Stark’s true love if you save him he will stop Joffrey’s wedding.”

“So if we help him that means Joffrey will suffer and get humiliated?” 

“Left at the altar, his fiance leaving him for a pirate.” Theon told him and he say Stannis’ face light up, well something of the sort he wasn’t exactly sure the man knew what a smile was. 

“Now that is truly a noble cause.” Stannis said then turned to Mel, “Are you up for it?”

“I think the Lord wants me to help him so I shall.” 

“Give us the 65 we’re on board.” Stannis stated as Tormund handed him the money. Davos just smiled.

 

After a bit of a wait Melisandre handed them the miracle pill, and explained all they needed to know. It would take 15 minutes for it to reach full potency and he shouldn’t go swimming afterwards for at least an hour. Theon grabbed the pill as Tormund grabbed Jon’s body, thanking them before leaving the hut. 

“Goodbye lads.” Davos said as he Stannis and Melisandre waved goodbye.

“Have fun storming the castle.” Stannis called out.

“Do you think it will work?” Davos asked

“It would take a miracle.” Melisandre said as they waved and went back inside. 

* * *

The three of them are at the top of the outer wall of the castle. Instead of the 30 they were expecting there’s now 60 men, that spells trouble for them. They decide to give Jon the miracle pill as they are counting it close to time. After a few moments he awakens and Theon brings him up to speed on everything.

Jon asked what they assets and liabilities are and Theon fills him in. Jon doesn’t think it’s possible until Theon mentioned a wheelbarrow and Tormund revealed he had a holocaust cloak. Apparently Davos had given it to him because of how well it fit. And so the plan was set, now they just had to put it in motion and hope for the best. 

* * *

 

Sansa was wearing a crown and a beautiful wedding dress as Joffrey came into the room. She is well aware of where she is keeping the small knife just in case he tries anything. All he does is stand behind her and put a pearl necklace on her neck.

“You don’t seem excited, my dove.”

“Why would I be excited?”

“From what I’ve heard a wedding is a joyful occasion and brides are usually ecstatic.”

  
“Well I’m not planning on getting married tonight.” Sansa replied

“Oh and why is that?”

“Jon is going to come for me I know it.” Sansa said, there’s not a single shred of doubt in her voice as she walked out of the room. The guards were there to take her to where the ceremony was taking place and to make sure she didn’t try to make a run for it.  

 

The ceremony started as an impressive clergyman started to speak. Sansa couldn’t understand half the words he was saying but she got the gist of it. And then the commotion started.

She could hear the guards telling the men to stand their grown and she just smirked, that was her Jon coming to save her, she just knew it. 

* * *

The brute squad were terrified, they could not believe their eyes. They were staring at what seemed to be a giant floating towards them. His booming voice sent chills down their spine.

“I am the Dread Pirate Dayne, there will be no survivors tonight.” Tormund shouted, the reason he looks like he is floating is that he is standing on a wheelbarrow that has Theon and Jon hiding behind it. Theon is doing his best to support Jon who hasn’t completely recovered yet and pushing Tormund forward.

“Do we do it now?” Theon asked Jon about the next part of their plan.

“Not quite yet.” Jon replied.

“My men are here, they are everywhere and I am here but soon you will be gone from this place and will surely meet the stranger.” Tormund shouted and Jon nodded towards Theon.

“Do it!” He said as Theon lights the cloak on fire. 

  
“There will be no survivors tonight, all your worst nightmares will come true.” Tormund shouted, and he looked quite fearsome as his cloak was burning giving the appearance that he was not one to be trifled with. Sure enough the men in the brute squad start escaping, despite having orders to stand their ground. 

“The Dread Pirate Dayne is here for your souls.” Tormund shouted one last time, thoroughly enjoying the dramatics. The remainder of the brute squad leaves until the only one left standing is the man with the gate key.

* * *

 

Sansa sees as Euron leaves with his men and as time goes on and the fight outside rages on she can see Joffrey get more and more nervous.

The clergyman is still mostly speaking nonsense when Joffrey interrupts him.

“Skip to the end.” 

“Do you have the rings?” the clergyman asked and Sansa smirked at Joffrey once more.

“Here comes my Jon now.”

“Your beloved Jon is dead I killed him myself.” Joffrey stated. 

“And yet all I see is fear behind your eyes, like I said you’re going to lose.”

“I wouldn’t be to sure of that princess.” Joffrey said

“Do you Princess Sansa Stark of Winterfell.” The clergyman started to ask before Joffrey interrupted him once again.

“Say man and wife!” Joffrey exclaimed

“Man and wife.” the clergyman said agreeing with what was being asked. Suddenly Sansa was being whisked away. She didn’t know what was going on. Had that just happened? She was escorted back to the room and was thankful she still had the knife in her hand, she had a feeling she was going to need it soon.

* * *

Theon, Tormund and Jon (carried by Tormund) come across Euron and his men as they made  their way into the castle. Euron told the men to attack but they’re practically powerless against Theon. Euron is right in front of him and the time to avenge his family is finally here. As all the men fell to the floor Theon turned towards Euron and calmly spoke.

“Hello, my name is Theon Greyjoy, you killed my family, prepare to die.” 

Euron just stared at him for a bit before taking off running with Theon hot on his heels. Tormund and Jon just exchange a look as if they can’t believe that just happened. Euron managed to get inside a door and locked in behind him just as Theon had arrived. As much as he tried he couldn’t get it to budge and so he called for Tormund’s help. Tormund doesn’t know what to do because he can’t leave Jon alone defenseless. But Theon’s pleading wins him over as he propped Jon against a suit of armour telling him to stay there.

He opened the door for Theon who ran inside following after Euron. He wouldn’t get away from him, not this time. Tormund returned to where he left Jon but the man was no longer there, what did he do now?

* * *

 

It seemed like Theon had been following Euron for hours crossing through corridors and steps until they reached their final destination. Then like the coward he always was Euron hurled a dagger at him and as much as Theon tried to dodge it, he failed. The dagger was stuck in his gut. 

“I’m sorry mother, I failed.”

“Oh I know who you are now, you’re Balon’s boy. The little green brat I thought a lesson to all those years ago.” Euron said coming closer to him.

“I will definitely enjoy beating you and finally taking that sword.” Euron said looking at the Greyjoy sword in Theon’s hand. 

“You’re so weak, you’ve been chasing me all this time and now at the final hour you fail. You're not worthy of being a Greyjoy, I enjoying wiping out Balon’s branch of the family. Now that is a gift for me.”

* * *

 

Sansa walked into the room and knew what she had to do. No one, especially not Joffrey was going to get to kill her. If she was going to leave this world it would be on her terms and no one else’s. She took the knife and pointed it at herself when she was interrupted.

“There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” Jon said cheekily

She turned around and there he was lying on the bed just looking at her like he always had. Her faith had not been proven wrong, he had come for her. Sansa leaped towards the bed started kissing his face. Jon did his best to kiss her back but his body was still mostly numb.

It was just his luck that the love of his life was kissing him and he couldn’t even hold her. 

“It’s not like you not to hold onto me Jon, are you feeling alright?” Sansa joked

“Gently.”

“Is that really all you wish to say right now?” Sansa asked surprised.

“Darling I love you but right now I need you to be gentle, I’ll explain later.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Sansa asked with a mischievous grin on her face.

“I never want you to stop, if I could kiss you forever you know I would gladly do so.” He said as she pulled him into another kiss. 

* * *

Theon pulled the dagger from his gut and put his left hand on the wound as he tried to stand up.

“So you’re still trying to win? That overdeveloped sense of vengeance will definitely get you into trouble some day but if you want a fight, let’s fight. I could use the exercise.” Euron said mocking him

Euron came at him with the intention to kill him but Theon blocked every one of his attacks. Euron’s blade grazed his shoulder but Theon barely felt it. 

“Hello, my name is Theon Greyjoy, you killed my family, prepare to die.” He said as he finally managed to stand up on his own and then stumbled onto a table. 

Euron attacked him once again but Theon managed to block everyone one of the attacks. Theon’s left hand is still on his wound but the adrenaline of the fight gave him momentum. As he moved towards Euron he just kept saying one thing,

“Hello, my name is Theon Greyjoy, you killed my family, prepare to die.”

To the point where he actually managed to push back Euron. It’s not clear if it’s the momentum or the phrase that is giving him the energy to go on but Theon keeps getting stronger and stronger. 

“Hello, my name is Theon Greyjoy, you killed my family, prepare to die.” Theon said a little louder this time.

“Will you stop fucking saying that?” Euron managed to say.

Theon drove for the Euron’s left shoulder, he thrust home where the Euron had gotten him. Then another move as his blade entered the Euron's right shoulder, in the same exact spot that Theon had been wounded.

“HELLO MY NAME IS THEON GREYJOY, YOU KILLED MY FAMILY, PREPARE TO DIE.” Theon shouted at Euron pushing him against a table, finally having his enemy at his mercy. Euron is now sporting two marks on his face just like the ones he left on young Theon. Theon made him plead for his life, and plead he did.

“All that I have, it’s yours.” Euron said 

“I want my family back you son of a bitch.” Theon stated and plunged the Greyjoy sword into Euron’s stomach as the man drops dead, his eyes open but with no life left in them. And so it is done. Theon had finally beaten his enemy. 

His family could finally rest in peace and that was all that mattered. 

* * *

“Jon there is something I must tell you.” Sansa said as she pulled away from his latest kiss.

“What is it?” Jon asked

“I think I got married.”

“You think you got married?” Jon asked with a smirk

“Well it all happened very fast, and suddenly the clergy was saying man and wife and I was brought to this room.” Sansa explained

“You’re not married.”

“I was there.” She said exasperated.

“Did you say I do?”  

“Now that you mention it I don’t think I did?”

“Then you’re not married. It never happened.” Jon said smiling at her.

“It’s as easy as that?” 

“It’s as easy as that.” Jon said then turned towards the door, “wouldn’t you agree your highness?”

“Well that can easily be remedied. Now for the important part, To the death.” Joffrey said pulling out his sword and charging towards them. 

“No, to the pain.” Jon stated, that stopped Joffrey in his tracks, he wasn’t exactly sure what that expression meant. 

“What does that even mean?” Joffrey muttered

“I’ll tell you and I’ll even use small words so you’ll understand you inbred idiotic fool.” 

“That is definitely the first time anyone has dared insult me.”

“Maybe to your face.” Sansa interjected softly as Jon looked proud. 

“It will not be the last I assure you, To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.” 

“And then my tongue? You speak too much, I shall enjoy killing you again.” Joffrey stated

“I wasn't finished -- the next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.”

“And my ears I gather? At least be original.”

“Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why, so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish; every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

 

Sansa can practically see the fear coming off of Joffrey in waves. Maybe it’s cruel of her but it still gives her pleasure. 

“I think you’re bluffing.” Joffrey said trying not let his fear show. 

“I might be bluffing but maybe I’m not are you truly willing to take that chance? Maybe I’m lying on this bed because I lack the strength to stand or maybe I’m just trying to trick you. Maybe I do have the strength to stand after all.” 

With those words he lets go of Sansa’s hand and he stands up from the bed pointing Longclaw at him, “Drop your sword.” he said with all the menace he felt in his body.

Joffrey being the coward that he is, doesn’t have to be told twice before his sword is on the ground. then he followed Jon’s command and sat down at the chair letting Sansa tie him up. That’s when Theon ran into the room. Sansa can’t say she’s surprised to see that Jon recruited him to help. 

 

“Where’s Tormund?” Theon asked

“I assumed he was with you.” Jon replied before stumbling a bit.

“Help him.” Theon told Sansa who quickly went to Jon’s side.

“Jon what’s wrong?”

“Remember how I told you I’d explain later well this is part of that.”

“That doesn’t tell me anything.” Sansa said before turning to Theon, “what’s wrong with him?”

“He’s been mostly dead all day so he doesn’t have his strength.” Theon admitted.

“You were dead and you didn’t tell me?” Sansa exclaimed slapping his arm.

“Careful I’m wounded, and I didn’t want you to worry.” Jon reasoned knowing that he would have to explain things in detail later or else face his beloved's wrath. 

“I knew he was bluffing.” Joffrey said interrupting their moment. 

“Do you want me to kill the brat, I can kill the brat.” Theon offered

“I appreciate it but I think it’s better to have watch us set off together while he remains here alone with his cowardice.” Jon said and then they heard Tormund calling out Theon’s name, they went to the window and there he was with 4 horses, one of which was Lady. 

“I was looking for you when I found the stables. I figured there are four horses and four of us if we found the lady, hello lady, so I brought them with me in case we ran into each other.” Tormund said as Sansa gave him a small wave.

“Tormund that was brilliant.” Theon said impressed

“I have my moments.” Tormund said and stretched out his arms to catch Sansa as she jumps from the balcony.

“What is it?” Jon asked as he saw the pensive look on Theon’s face.

“I have no idea what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. Is there life after revenge when you’ve dedicated your life to it?”

“Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Dayne.” Jon stated before he too jumped out of the balcony. 

Once all four of them were on the ground they rode away to freedom, away from Joffrey and Kings Landing. Away from the past and towards a future that was now there’s to hold. 

True to his word Theon succeeded Jon in becoming Dread Pirate Dayne. Tormund decided to settle in the North and for the first time he felt he had a home. 

Jon and Sansa made it back to Winterfell where Jon was free to become Jon Snow once again. They were free to enjoy life thanks to Jon’s treasure from his time as a pirate but that part barely mattered to them. Sansa was reunited with her family and with the love of her life. She was truly happy. 

Her daily ride still happened, except now she had someone to share it with.  As the day broke and the sun came out Jon and Sansa reached for each other.

 

Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. 

 

And so they lived happily ever after. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mix of my writing with the actual script for the movie and a bit of satire thrown in for good measure because why not. So I tried to keep the spirit of the movie while also staying faithful to our characters. Whether I succeeded is up to you.
> 
> As always in my fic the aesthetic leads to the tumblr post in case you want to reblog it.
> 
>  
> 
> If you made it this made I hope you enjoyed it and please leave a comment or kudos if you did.


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